The flip side of retail therapy.

No this post isn't about the inevitable state of depression and anxiety that always follows a glorious afternoon spending your hard-earned money on a plethora of impulse items — you really don't need — all because you had a rough week. We've all been there. Some more than others. So why dwell?

Instead, I will tell you about my first weekend at my new part-time employment in the retail industry. Yes, as a way to gain some extra holiday cash, I have picked up a side job folding clothes, standing on my feet all day and making tons of new friends all under the age of 20. OK, maybe I am being a bit dramatic. It really isn't all that bad. And over the past two shifts, when I have asked myself what the f*&^ I am doing here, I think about that fabulous discount and continue folding the pink cashmere blend sweater that I will buy next week.

So like I was saying, my first weekend basically was a complete wash. On Saturday, I helped a very desperate and indecisive — size extra small — woman. And on Sunday, I pissed of a woman who was her complete opposite.

Here's how it went down.

Saturday: A co-worker pawned off this very friendly, frail (probably slightly hungry) middle-aged woman to me after her patience had run thin. This woman was looking for a top to match a pair of her dark skinny jeans and a sweater. Now this was towards the end of the day and due to the Friends and Family sale our stock was pretty wiped out. But I found a cute frilly tank blouse that would work perfectly. Ya know... actually let me tell you how the convo went exactly.

LRN: Hi there. So what can I help you with?
Customer: I am looking for a shirt to go with my skinny jeans.
LRN: Well what kind of shirt? Something dressy? Or one of our many plaid picks all over the store?
Customer: No. I hate plaid. Something dressy.
LRN: OK well is this for any special occasion?
Customer: Um, well, no. Not really.
LRN: OK, I think I know of something.

So we searched through the tanks only to find we had an X Small in gray and navy blue.

LRN: So what do you think?
Customer: Well I don't look good in gray. At least I don't think.
LRN: OK how about the navy?
Customer: No. What about the pink?
LRN: We don't have that one in your size.
Customer: Oh. Well what do you think I should do?
LRN: Well, you have these really bright blue eyes, how about the navy. It would really make your eyes pop I think.
Customer: OK. But this is a tank. So I need a cardigan now, right?
LRN: Well how about a white long sleeve?
Customer: Um. OK. Where are those?

OK so this went on for about another five minutes trying to pick out the RIGHT long sleeve. Then she wanted a sweater. Just a sweater. Nothing more specific. So I told her to try on the outfit we put together then come back to me about the sweater. Basically I needed a break.

In the end, she loved the long sleeve under the tank blouse. And thought the navy was a great choice as well. Sweet! The Gap Gods were smiling down on my that day.

Sunday: It was the busiest time of the day, and I had just been assigned to the men's side. (PS I have no clue where things are.) But I was confident it couldn't be that hard. AND I thought it would be less stressful because I was dealing with guys. That was my first mistake.

So this woman comes up to me, and she is on a mission.

Customer: Where are your boot cut jeans for men?!?
LRN: Oh, well they are right over here by the Boot Cut signage. Let me show you.

Now on our way over, we dodged a table. I went left. She went right. I should have gone right, because I was then stopped by a couple. The wife starts taking to me about her husband's jeans and how they are from Banana and how she likes them and "oh take a look." Now customer 1 is standing behind them on the other side of a table, and I am trying to find the appropriate spot in this wife's story to tell her I will be with her in one moment. Not to mention while trying to signal to the Customer 1 — who is steaming by this point — that I will be right there.

Well, now Steaming Customer decided to walk to the front of the store.

So now I am in hyper mode, tell the couple where to find what they are looking for and run to the front of the store to find my Steamer.

But she finds me first, and she's got another sales associate at her beck and call.

Steaming customer: Yeah, I am looking for the boot cut men's jeans.
Johnny: OK.
Steaming customer: (Seeing me, she points) Yeah YOU were suppose to be helping me!
LRN: I am really sorry ma'am. I was trying to stop her at an ...
Steaming customer: Yeah well you made me wait! I was first. What you SHOULD have done was told them you were helping ME first!
LRN: I know ma'am, I am really sorry about that.
Steaming customer: YEAH you should be. YOU MESSED UP!

Woah. I did. She was right. But we were just looking for a pair of boot cut jeans, and she's acting like I botched a surgery and killed her child.

So she went away. And now I was steaming. So I allotted myself the 15-minute rule of anger. Then my inner voice called out to me "Hey! Nimms! This is just you PT job. Do not get stressed about it... And when you do, think about that amazing discount."

Ah, that's right inner self. Good call. I will get back to folding that pink cashmere blend sweater that I will buy next week...

So two shifts in. Helped one. Ticked off another. But they both went home with an item. Welcome to retail. People are crazy and it's only the middle of November.

Think discount... think discount... think discount...